Sunday, March 17, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
WORD PLAY
PARAPROSDOKIAN - I had never heard of this word nor even known of its existance until I received a list of examples in an email from a friend. Then another friend sent me this expanded list of examples. And don't ask me how to pronounce it. I'm lucky if I can spell paraprosdokian correctly, being spelling challenged as I am. If fact if I misspelled paraprosdokian incorrectly, I'm not sure that even my spell checker could bail me out. So without further ado here is a list of paraprosdokians. If you're like me when you read these, you'll recognize a few. Others, may be new to you. Enjoy!
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Read an Ebook Week - 3-9 MAR 2013
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| Kindle, 3rd Generation |
An "Ebook" is a book length publication in digital form. No one really knows when the first ebook came along, but it's been several decades in the making. "The Index Thomistiticus" was a heavily annotated electronic index to the works of Thomas Aquinas in the 1940s put together by Roberto Busa.
However the idea of the ebook reader came to Bob Brown in the 1930's, inspired by the "talkie" movies. In an article Jennifer Schuessler writes, "The machine, Brown argued, would allow readers to adjust the type size, avoid paper cuts and save trees, all while hastening the day when words could be 'recorded directly on the palpitating ether.'"
In 1949 a teacher from Spain, Angelia Ruiz, patents the 1st ebook. She wanted to decrease the number of books her kids brought to school.
In Star Trek, The Original Series and even The Next Generation, Capt Kirk and Capt Picard each use "ebook" readers - though Kirk's was a bit bulker than Picard's.
In 1992, Sony launched the Data Discman, an electronic book reader that could read e-books that were stored on CDs.
The establishment of the E Ink Corp. in 1997 led to the development of electronic paper a technology which allows a display screen to reflect light like ordinary paper without the need for a backlight. The Rocket Ebook is introduced but doesn't gain any popularity.
In the mid 2000's, Amazon released the "Kindle" a slim, convienent, ebook reader that is affordable to the every day public. Sony does the same.
"Read An Ebook Week" was first listed in 2004. The purpose was to educate and inform the public about the pleasures and advantages of reading electronically.
Popular formats include: PDF, EPUB, and HTML.
Some advantages of having an ebook:
--All fiction books published prior to 1900 are considered in the public domain and free.
--An ebook can be ordered and downloaded immediately.
--The cost is affordable.
--A single reader can have many books.
--There is a wide variety of ebook readers that are affordable.
--It saves on physical space.
--You can ajust the font and add notes if you want.
CONTEST!!
If you go to: http://www.ebookweek.com/index.html
There are two contests along with a great list of "deals and steals." It's a great place to hang out and enjoy an ebook this week.
Question for you: Do you have an ebook reader? If so, which one. Why do you recommend it? The price? The size? The features?
Do you have any "Deals and Steals" you'd like to share this week? Leave a comment!
Author Bio: Stephanie Burkhart is a 911 Dispatcher for LAPD. Her ebooks with Victory Tales Press include: A Polish Heart, Journey of the Heart, Feast of Candles, and Christmas in Bayeux.
References:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-book
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